The significance of the offender and the role in the life of the offended can impact the intensity of the feeling of offense (Cohen, Nisbett, Bowdel, & Schwarz, 1996). First, recognize that your being offended is your choice. David Pollay discovered this concept. The feeling of being offended happens when you think that other people are treating you disrespectfully. Truthfully, being offended is a choice we make. 49 comments. Is being offended/triggered a personal choice? It is a logical portion of your head that sometimes feels as if it has been in a position to get past some (Inner Strength) issues, but if they are still from the filing cabinet labeled”offended” we will quickly remember how exactly to answer some situation that even slightly resembles the experiences we have had that directed us to feel offended. It’s allowing someone or something else to control the way you feel. Response 1 of 54: Not totally wrong. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to. For example, if a boss says something contrary to the self-concept and belief of the offended, the intensity of the feeling of offense may be greater than if an unknown coworker would make the same comment. Obviously, some statements are made with the deliberate intent to offend you. (the subconscious) There are times after all, that feeling offended was and should remain as a healthy choice. First, when you receive feedback, tune in to what you feel – probably sadness is in there somewhere, the little child in you is hurt. Being Offended Is a Choice We Make-----"Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited. save. Feeling OFFENDED is a choice/Even though we were supposed to switch off, me and my former mother in law both made dinner on the same day. Feeling offended or hurt by speech is a matter of choice because no one is responsible for our issues but ourselves. Even when being offended is controlled by the unconscious, the reaction to the offense is always a conscious choice. Reposted from another friend: It is a fact of life in our country today that there are people who live to be offended. And you should never allow yourself to (remain) feeling disrespected. Let’s kick this off with some realness: The concept of feeling offended is maddening. And you should also never depend solely on the Other to initiate a relationship of trust. Whatever you decide to do because of it, that is a choice. Why/Why not? Do you think being offended is choice? How I chose to handle it was to feel like I was deeply offended. Is being offended/triggered a personal choice? Edit: For second question. Posted by u/[deleted] 2 years ago. things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us. Is there psychology to show this? Here is where I had to do some internal file cabinet cleaning. On Feeling Offended. Today, we live in an over-sensitive, over-complaining, over-politically correct world where at any given time, some person or group is offended by something happening, usually not even directly related to them. I often find those who are easily offended to be arrogant or self-righteous. The nasty feeling you have is a direct consequence of your choice, not of the statement which motivated it. And both are entirely your choice. Close. You should never disrespect others. We are not talking here about someone stabbing your or stealing your wife. Being offended is a choice like any other. I should feel that way. Being Offended is a Choice For over a year now I've been writing a monthly article for the Town Talk's Guest Pastor column. Now, this is not going to be the same as being verbally abused; what it will come down to is that one will hear something and they will feel hurt or upset, among other things. The Law of the Garbage Truck. “People get addicted to feeling offended all the time because it gives them a high; being self-righteous and morally superior feels good.” ― Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life We can’t stop the inconsiderate, rude, offensive acts of others. When feeling offended is caused by a sense of injustice, forgiveness may become more difficult, mostly in non-intimate relations where the other’s positive image is generally lower than in intimate ones; but in intimate relations feeling offended can strongly worsen the image of the other (Table 9) and cause deep sadness reactions (Table 8). Someone does or says something that is offensive. save hide report. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us.” — David A. Bednar 2. Offense requires an objective opinion. The case of deliberate provocation. ” What we decided to think and feel about what the other person did is our choice and will ultimately affect the way we respond. The best course is to take self responsibility and stop blaming others. Hurt requires healing. May you not offend, nor be offended. It could also happen if they don’t acknowledge you or what you do. According to dictionary.com, the word offend is defined as: Verb (used with object) To irritate, annoy, or anger; cause resentful displeasure in. When we make a choice, the tendency is to follow the path of least resistance. 55% Upvoted. Being offended is a choice. What Does 'Offended' Mean? to take offense. He’s here to help us sort through both. 4 4. comments. Situations where there is a clear power imbalance such as workplaces or domestic violence are another matter entirely. ... that still wouldn't make being offended a choice. People get offended all the time and they should shield themselves for it, because nobody is responsible for another mans reaction, the emotions you feel are very personal, and feeling offended almost always is a negative emotion and can lead to very negative consequences. These are all things that are within your control. Unanswered. It isn’t up to other people to stop you from being offended. » 10.6.19 Being offended is a choice | We are an Oasis where the Bible comes alive! Reactions are something you can work to control. It is has become hard to say anything, especially on social media, that won’t upset someone somewhere rather a lot. Archived. Either you will be more offended by his words, or a little light-bulb will go off in your mind and you will instantly think of how useless being offended is.And since being offended easily is a choice, YOU are the one who holds the power to stop being offended. How to not get offended. hide. Being offended is a choice made by us. And through feeling this way, they can come to the conclusion that they have been harmed (just as they would if they were verbally or physically abused). report. We’re talking about something that would disturb your sensibilities, your sense of what is right. But may we remember today, God is the God of the hurt heart and the offended heart. And just because you are offended, does not mean you are right. Typically it runs on the first Sunday of the month, but this month the first Sunday was also the first day of the month and I didn't get it to them in time to run so it ran on the 2nd Sunday, today, October 8. "That's offensive!" This thread is archived. share. And for clarity, I am talking about open conversation where we all have a choice. Allowing another person to hurt your feelings or allowing someone to offend you is nothing short of self-imposed mental cruelty. share. Be offended, or not. It’s giving away your power. Offended. Choice, Condition, Else, Imposed, Inflicted, Make, Offended, Someone, Something, Something Else, Us Quotes to Explore The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm … Every emotion is a valid one, if you are feeling it. You should always be trustworthy. I don’t think it should serve as an excuse to be assholes to each other Blow your emotional top or not. offend you or to offend me. More on that another time. Unanswered. Offended Now, this is not going to be the same as being verbally abused; what it will come down to is that one will hear something and they will feel hurt or upset, among other things. To summarize: there are only two things you need to do to never feel insulted or offended again. Is there psychology to show this? 2. Theyre called #Progressives. That is offensive, of course, but it’s really just a day-to-day reality. Your choice. In a sense, I was choosing to give back all of the power to the offender. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Sort by. Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness 5 1 15. Feel the feeling instead of avoiding it. Being offended is a reaction. Hurt happens to us. I choose tolerance. Having hurt feelings or being offended is a choice. In the past few months, we have become more isolated than we … Well, so what?A compilation for the rejection of the culture of offense. And through feeling this way, they can come to the conclusion that they have been harmed (just as they would if they were verbally or physically abused). I am not easily offended. There is nothing that forces you to take offence other than your own moral standards, sense of righteousness and ego or self-image. There’s a myriad of things people can get deeply offended by: perceived slights around economics, nationality, social group, sexual tastes, commitments. Take several deep breaths, and allow yourself to feel any emotion that arises, processing it internally without reacting just yet. It’s becoming a victim of other people’s choices, many times when they don’t even mean to offend you.